


Loved One Lost

by monkeywand



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Hurt, Sadness, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 18:39:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16540001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monkeywand/pseuds/monkeywand
Summary: How does one exist without the other? It’s like yin without its’ yang. A light without its’ shadow.





	Loved One Lost

**Author's Note:**

> _Sin ti no puedo respirar. Te necesito en mi vida._  
>  Without you, I cannot breathe. I need you in my life.

“Why?” she screams in anguish. “Why are you gone? Why did you have to leave? Why did you have to leave me?” She sniffs, barely holding back the tears threatening to spill. “You promised. You promised to be with me always. Forever and ever, you said.” She screams again, hurling the ceramic pot in her hands at the tombstone before her.

“I hate you!” she yells. “I hate you. I wish you'd never made that promise.” She falls to her knees with a loud sob, her shoulders shaking. “You and your stupid promises. Why? Why did you always have to be the hero? You promised you'd come home safe. You lied.”

She lashes out at the headstone, beating her fists against the cool granite. Each blow becomes weaker until eventually she stops, sitting on the fresh grave, tears streaming down her face. Soon she becomes silent, until no more tears fall. She is numb. The pain is still there, pushed to the furthest recesses of her mind.

No one knows how long she remains unmoving, staring off into nothing. Even when the rain comes, drenching her petite body, she does not flinch. They try to shield her, but nothing can shield her from the anguish she is feeling. Strong arms wrap around her body, and for a moment she thinks it is _him_. Then she remembers. He is gone. Dead. Never coming back.

“Let me go!” she screams, struggling.  “Let me go! Let me go! Don't make me leave. Take me back. _Please_.” The pain in her voice makes the body holding her falter but not enough that she can escape. She beats at the arms holding her tight, using her hands and feet to lash out.

Realizing it is futile, she becomes limp, a dead weight. She begins to plead internally. 'Please bring him back. I'll be good. I won't ever ask for anything again. _Please_.' Her heart feels like it is not broken, but crushed, torn and shredded as well. Finding no satisfaction from her pleading, she begins to scream again.

“I'm sorry. I don't hate you. Come back to me, please. I'm sorry. I love you. I love you.” Her voice breaks at those few last words, erupting in tears again.

* * *

She lays in the fetal position not moving, barely breathing. Her body is numb, her mind blank, refusing to comprehend the situation. She has shrugged away all food, only sipping at the water offered. She doesn't feel the cold seep into her bones, threatening to overcome her body. A warm hand soothes itself over her dank hair.

“Oh, sweetie,” the voice says, continuing the calming motion.

“How can he be gone?” she whispers, voice raw from under-use.

“I don't think any of us knows why, honey.”

“It's not fair. Why did he have to die and not me?” Fresh tears begin to fall from puffy eyes.

“Life isn't fair, but we have to soldier on with the hand we're dealt with. How long that takes, nobody knows. Time is the only deciding factor.” She blinks, sniffling. “Now, come on. I know he wouldn't want you here, wallowing in his absence.”

She nods and allows herself to be tugged til she’s standing. She’s being forced back to reality. Back to living without him. But she doesn’t know how to be alone.

How does one exist without the other? It’s like yin without its’ yang. A light without its’ shadow.

And that’s all she has become. A shadow of her former existence. Her light has gone. And she wonders if it’ll ever flicker again.

**Author's Note:**

> _You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it._


End file.
